Handling a Potentially Offensive Situation

April Fool’s Day is almost upon us. As the holiday for playing practical jokes draws near, it is
important to remember the thoughts and feelings of others. While keeping this in mind, it is
also important to not be overly sensitive about jokes that are played.

I have seen a meme circulating Facebook (this is the second year I have seen it) that is a picture

of a positive pregnancy test and states, “1 in 8 of your friends struggle to get pregnant. 1 in 4 of

your friends has lost a baby. Pregnancy is not an April Fool’s joke.” While I understand the

sentiment behind this meme and I appreciate people trying to be sensitive to others, I see no

reason to be hurt or offended by this joke. As someone who is a part of both of these statistics

(lost 4 now can’t get pregnant), the reactions to this particular April Fool’s prank are some that

have brought great laughter in my life.

I understand that some people are more sensitive to this issue than I am, however, please ask
yourself this one question “Why am I offended?” I highly doubt that the person playing this joke

is doing so as an intentional way to make you feel bad. I will admit that in the past I have taken
offense when people innocently asked when Sam and I were going to start a family. It is not fun

to have extra reminders of what you have lost or what you do not have, especially when you

want it so desperately. There was a lot of self-examination that needed to be done when walking
away from these situations. I realized that my hurt and offended reaction had its root in bitterness.

I was bitter that God had taken my babies away. I was angry that other people got to be parents

and I didn’t. To be frank, I was sinning.

Part of not being offended comes from accepting the circumstance that have been placed in

my life. Who am I to tell God what should and should not happen? James 1 talks about how we

are to view and handle trials.  Verse 17 states, “Every good gift and every perfect gift is from

above, and comes down from the Father of lights, with whom there is no variation or shadow of
turning.” When I view everything in my life, trial or not, as a gift from a God who will never
change, it is so much easier not to focus on the things that are happening or the things that are
being said around me. God has perfectly orchestrated the events of my life to mold me and shape
me into the person He wants me to be. He has opened a direct line of communication through the

death and resurrection of Jesus Christ. He is loving and forgiving and just and holy. Why should I
spend my time being offended when I can focus on the creator God who wants a personal
relationship with me?

So how should we react when someone asks when we will start a family, grow our family, or plays

a joke? Thankfulness. Often times we put thankfulness in a box that only gets to come out in
November. The truth is, thankfulness is the ultimate weapon to fight off and guard against

bitterness. If you have lost a child but you still have one, be thankful for the one that you have.

Yes, you mourn the loss and miss your child but do not fixate on it. If you have never lost a child

but you can’t seem to get pregnant, be thankful for the things that are in your life. Focus on what

you have, not what you don’t. When I am struggling with bitterness in this way, I like to list of a
minimum of five things that I am thankful for. They usually include my salvation, my church, my
husband, my family, and chocolate. 1 Thessalonians 5:18 says “in everything give thanks; for this

is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you.” God has given us far more that we deserve. Be so busy
being thankful that there is not time to be offended by the questions or jokes that you hear.